Idiot Dies by Gun Violence

Image via dumbshit's facebook In what should have come as a surprise to nobody, the gang-affiliated scumbag pictured above who was sent into the street by his mother to fight another similar scumbag is now dead from gun violence. Who could have seen that one coming? Shocking, right? According to the SA news, the best source for news of South Texas sleaze, Monica Guevara saw one Franco Summers down the street. Summers had been fighting with Rodriguez's sister so the mother advised Rodriguez that Summers needed his "ass kicked." The moron then went out to fight Summers, a thing he had done before with this result:

Summers' mother reportedly bloodied up the young dummy with a metal object to the head. Yeah, that's what counts for parenting in much of SA. So, anyway, "what could possibly go wrong?" you may be asking. Well, for starters Summers was armed and shot our poster boy for gun control four times. His mother encouraged him to fight often, as the EN reports: “We don't want him to be pushed around,” Guevara said. “He had a lot of respect out there.” Looks like San Antonio has one scum less today. Hopefully the idiot was Darwin eligible.

Thanksgiving Ax Murder in San Antonio

Those family holiday get-togethers can be murder. In the case of one upstanding San Antonio family, Thanksgiving may never be the same after 19 year old Marshall Lee Giles gave his father forty whacks for the holiday. Here's the SAEN description:

The elder Giles, 41, was on a couch, moaning and bleeding from several large cuts on his head when officers got to his house in the 1900 block of East Crocket Street, according to a police report. His left eye was hanging from the socket, the report said.

Think about that next time you complain about your loud-mouthed relatives at holiday time. Anyway, as the charges were read to Mr. Giles, he reported started to laugh. Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Charge-upgraded-to-murder-in-ax-attack-4068665.php#ixzz2Ey9sXntL

Being Stupid is Dangerous -- Dead Moron's Family Blames Others

From the SAEN:

"Robert Esquivel was a fun-loving guy who had a habit of staying up late and falling asleep in unusual places, especially after drinking, his family said."

Oh, where to begin. Robert Esquivel spent the night Saturday drinking heavily, after which he found his way onto an unlit county road in the early morning hours where he passed out in the middle of the road. (Unusual places, indeed.) It was foggy. He was wearing black. One driver passed him and called 911 and EMTs were dispatched. Hmm. "What could possibly go wrong?" you may be asking. Well, to start with the driver who reported the moron, Robert Esquivel, wasn't very specific about his location on the dark and winding road. In fact the caller was wrong, placing him half a mile further up the road. The caller also reported that he was on the "side of the road," rather than in the middle where he actually was. What happened is simple and not much of a surprise, really. The idiot got run over and killed. The next part isn't really much of a surprise either. His family is blaming everyone but the dearly departed dipshit. Getting blind-drunk and passing out in all kinds of stupid places was apparently a habit with Mr. Esquivel. This according to his mentally challenged sister, Maria Salas:

“He was always knocking on doors at 5, 6 in the morning and asking, 'What are y'all doing?'” Salas said. “He was just crazy. He would fall asleep anywhere — on top of my table, on my kitchen floor. I would find him sleeping outside. He was the crazy one.”

Well, "the crazy one" is dead and the sister is laying blame. But not with her brother. Oh, no. That would never do. Instead, she had decided the fault lies with the EMS workers who were out looking for his stupid ass and had the misfortune of finding him passed out in the middle of the road. Here's her flawless reasoning:

“He was always knocking on doors at 5, 6 in the morning and asking, 'What are y'all doing?'” Salas said. “He was just crazy. He would fall asleep anywhere — on top of my table, on my kitchen floor. I would find him sleeping outside. He was the crazy one.”

So, asshat is wearing black in pitch dark while passed out in the middle of a winding county road where anyone could have come along and run his useless ass over, but it's not his fault somehow. Right. Waiting for the lawsuit... Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Family-blaming-rescuers-in-man-s-death-4113716.php#ixzz2Exyx8ifR

Brothers in Machete Fight Over Drugs ***UPDATE***

Another classic San Antonio style crime, for sure: Two brothers, some missing crack or meth, and one ends up with life threatening injuries due to a machete attack by the other. These West siders aren't kids, either. The attacker is in his 40s and the brother who got the chop chop is in his 30s. I guess nobody will be surprised to learn this San Antonio stupidity went down on the West side, unless, of course, they first assumed it went down on the other bad side of town: the South side or the East side or most of the North side. No names have been released yet. It remains to be seen if the shallow end of the gene pool is going to lose a resident yet. We'll update. UPDATE:

A man is in stable condition after his brother allegedly attacked him with a machete over the weekend. Phillip Caballero, 38, was treated at University Hospital for his wounds. David Caballero, 41, is being held at the Bexar County jail and will face charges of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon and severe bodily injury to a family member. His bond is set at $80,000.

Read more: http://www.mysanantonio.com/news/local_news/article/Brother-survives-machete-attack-3691645.php#ixzz2EyE18Ktm

Texans Try to Answer Simple Questions About the World: FAIL

Man Runs into Traffic Chased by "Gorilla"

Apparently, suicidal, a twenty-five year old patron of the Coco Bongo nightclub in San Antonio, told the gorilla suited mascot of the bar he wanted to kill himself before dashing into freeway traffic. The guy in the gorilla suit gave chase as the horrified customers of the nearby Hooters restaurant looked on watching several motorists swerve to avoid hitting the man being pursued by the fake gorilla. The man was eventually hit by a white Infinity and was taken to University Hospital with minor injuries. Bongo, the gorilla was uninjured. BTW, it was "Throw Down Thursday" at the Coco Bongo.

Barbeque Brawl Leads to Murder

Twenty year-old Darrius Goodwin shot and killed his 41 year-old father Daniel Goodwin Thursday at an apartment complex in San Antonio. What sparked the deadly brawl at the barbeque is unknown. Could it have been a debate over the relative merits of ribs vs. brisket? (Ribs are better, btw.) One thing about the victim in this case: he raised a winner.